Snow
by Ready Or Notxx
Summary: Snow brings out the best of feelings... AdamXLawrence.


_**Snow  
By 00One X00**_

Writing one-shots are hard, but I wanted to write something...So here it is.  
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Adam's been with Lawrence for about a year now.

And nothing's really changed.

They wake up, together, in the same bed, in their own apartment, because Lawrence left Allison, left his old life with her behind.

It was easy.

Because Lawrence loves Adam. He loves Adam's smell of tobacco and smoke, the smell of someone who really doesn't care if they don't stop doing drugs or not, the smell of an immature child who still bottles things up, who never talks about those things. Because those things are stored in Adam's mind, and hell if Lawrence ever gets them out.

Adam's cute. The way he tells Lawrence to give him five more minutes each morning to sleep, the way he snores softly, the way when he's drunk and crying, he clings to Lawrence. He always leans on Lawrence for support, because he knows if he tries to walk on his own, his head will spin, and he'll vomit Cheerioes all over the floor. Adam's cute, the way he waits for Lawrence to come home like a puppy, the way he smiles when Lawrence walks through the door. He's cute the way his greenish gray eyes widen whenever Lawrence is telling him a story or telling Adam to stop drinking. He's cute the way a veil of smoke floats above his head when he's taking a drag from his cigarette. He's cute the way all he eats are cereal and pizza.

Every day Lawrence goes to thr hospital, takes care of patients, checks medical charts. He sees blood, slippery and staining his sterilized gloves, and for a second each time, it reminds him of the bathroom. Reminds him of the time he ran the hacksaw through his skin, felt the blood pour out of the wound, felt the blood slippery on his hands as he tried to hold that gun.

And sometimes...

Sometime's it's too much.

It's a lot like Adam and the news when they're sitting together in the mornings before Lawrence has to leave for work. Adam always complains about how the news is boring, how he'd rather watch action movies or cartoons, but he still watches. And a lot of the time, something about Jigsaw is on the news.

And Adam's eyes are glued to the TV, while he holds that bowl of Cheerioes in his hand, while the spoon makes its way halfway to his mouth, dripping milk. Lawrence knows that Adam thinks that he can't see the, "That could've been us..." look on his face.

Because he immediately knows what goes through Adam's head.

The sound of a gunshot.

The sight of his salvation closing on him.

The pain in the dark that just won't go away.

And it never will. That pain still remains, somehow, even though all that's left on Adam's shoulder is the bullet scar. Lawrence knows that Adam spins a lot of time after he gets out of the shower looking in the mirror and staring at the scar. Prodding it like it's an alien spawn. It'll always be there, always be a reminder to Adam what happened to them. Always be a reminder of waking up in a bathroom that smells like runny shit and death.

Lawrence stands by the door after Adam showers, and sometimes he hears Adam mutter things to himself.

_Fucking...water...shit...hate...fuck you...Jigsaw..._

Lawrence knows Adam's too proud to say any of that in front of him. Adam's way too proud for his own good. That's why he bottles it all up. And the bottle that Adam squeezes the lid on, holding it down for so long, eventually backs up and overflows.

In a dangerous way.

Because Adam's paranoid sometimes. Sometimes when he hears about Jigsaw on the news, and Lawrence goes to work, Adam will rush to him when he gets home, wrapping his arms around him and not letting him go. And Adam says that it's for no reason, but Lawrence can always see the fear in his eyes when he comes home, when Adam springs off of the couch.

And sometimes Adam gets angry, even more angry than usual. He'll scream at Lawrence, saying things like, "Why do YOU have the perfect life!" but Lawrence knows he never means it. It's just because Adam's scared most of the time, and after he screams at Lawrence and throws things around for about five minutes, he'll shut himself in the bathroom. And Lawrence will stand by the door, easing him, easing his emotional pain. He'll tell him it'll be all right.

And it will.

Lawrence's favorite days are the days when he's off, when he can come home and him and Adam go do things together. Sometimes he and Adam rent movies, and Adam always rents The Matrix. He laughs as Adam explains how his life would be so much better if he were Neo, and Lawrence chuckles as he explains that it would be harder, though, to be the most important one in the universe.

Sometimes he and Adam make love. It doesn't last long, because Adam sweats too much, because Adam's body starts to hurt because he's small and Lawrence is heavier, because Adam gets tired too easily. But it's incredible. It always is, and even though it's short, it's always refreshing, always wonderful. Lawrence just loves the way Adam lies on his chest after their done, how he rests his head on Lawrence's shoulder and falls asleep peacefully.

Sometimes Adam will wake up with a huge gasp, sitting up and sweating. Lawrence can see how wide his eyes are in the dark, can see how his mouth gapes open and how he rubs a sweating palm against his eye. Lawrence always tells him to calm down, always wraps his arms around him, kisses his forehead, and strokes his cheek until he falls asleep.

Lawrence loves whenever it snows and he's home from work.

Because it snows, it snows for a very long time. And when they go outside, Adam takes a deep breath and the fog comes out and he shivers. So he presses against Lawrence, wrapping his arms around him. Adam's body is warm despite the fact to him it's too cold for him.

They sit on the balcony, watching the snow for a long time. Because snow is pure, white, and it's a rare wonderland. It's calming, even though Adam is shivering. It's calming, because it's fascinating to watch. And while they're watching it, it's the most serene, happy thing in the world.

They sit together for what seems like hours.

And when it stops snowing, when the snow stays completely untouched on the ground, Lawrence will give Adam a look and a smile, a smile that he knows keeps Adam from slouching, a smile he knows will get Adam to smile back at him. Then they'll go inside, sit on the couch, sharing a blanket, pressing against each other, until they fall asleep.

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XD I just love a mix of angst and happiness. :D

Please R&R!

- 00One X00 


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